Kids in Church
Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "and why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the microphone cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
Six-year old Steffany and her four-year old brother Jake, were sitting together in church. Jake giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church Jacob!" "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Jake asked. Steffany pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
My grandson Jake, was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" You're both old, he replied.
I had been teaching my (then) three-year old Granddaughter, Steffany, the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen."
A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd. While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."
One Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.
Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"
A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
How long is the preacher gonna' preach Grandma? It's 12:30 and the other churches already beat us to the restaurant"
And of course there's my Grandson Tyler, "
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