Retirement

 
I worked years for someone else
   So that I could retire.
   I dreamed of sleeping late
   And sitting by the fire.
 
   I dreamed of long vacations,
   Enjoying stage and song.
   But let me set you straight on that concept,
   It is simply wrong.
 
   I did junk my safety glasses
   And the work boots that cramped my toes.
   But the rest of it had a mind of it's own
   And this is how it goes.
 
   My wife had been thinking of retirement
   And had plans of her own.
   She had spent much time with the kids
   But now they are grown and gone.
 
   We sold our cattle and horses
   So we wouldn't have that chore.
   I poured concrete over my alarm clock
   But I still wake up at four.
 
   I get my eyes checked on Monday.
   Ann gets hers checked the next day.
   I go for a colon check on Wednesday
   And pass my wife going the other way.
 
   I have a dental appointment on Thursday.
   Ann goes for a test on her heart.
   Friday we go get prescriptions filled
   And browse a while at Wal-Mart.
 
   Saturdays we just stay home
   And try to get the paper work right.
   We can't take any overnight trips
   'Cause we can't see to drive at night.
 
   Restroom confusion keeps us out of church on Sunday
   And we really do hate that.
   There's nothing wrong with the restrooms,
   We just can't remember where they're at.
 
   We don't need to plan next week,
   Just make sure we can drive.
   And not forget where the hospitals and clinics are.
   We'll need them to survive.
 
   So don't build your castles too high my friend,
   While strolling through the clover.
   This is a typical week in retirement
   And on Monday we start all over!
 
Author Unknown

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